Grandparent Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

Why Cows Leave Home

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

'What did you do in the great whale war, grandad....'

Bubbie Selfies

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

Young MacDonald

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Grandpa, tell us again about the old days when people voted for somebody instead of against somebody."

"I take my babysitting job very seriously."

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

'Grandma, show me the chicken's nuggets!'

'Child resistant cap'

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

"His parents think the way to school is too dangerous."

'Moonbeam just had a hippie replacement.'

"Dad's got an imaginary friend too, he's called Techincal support"

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

"Grandpa fatty died a heroic death - he bit through the main power cable in the slaughterhouse."