Grandpa Pillows

"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"

Life's a bench.

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'That's Grandpa's main data processing system.'

Final Round of Biggest Snoozer.

"No, grandpa...LGBT is not some new kind of bacon, lettuce and tomato snadwich."

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

"I'm not sure...my mom's thirty-one, so my grandpa must be like two-hundred?"

"Grandpa's old school. He likes his cell phones and insulin pumps BIG!"

Old man with straw in gin.

Make do and mend

Cutting Toenails.

Roasted

"It's a straightforward operation, but there can be complications such as; growing wings and wearing a halo."

"Come on, men! This is for our kids to live in a free world! And for our grandkids to grow up in a world where they can spend hours a day looking at cats on some sort of fantastic information machine!"

'And then there was the time when I slipped off the cat and was trapped on the couch for a month!'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

Happy Eightieth Birthday

'WOW! No wonder you take naps!'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'Grandpa, would you ever wear an adult diaper?'

"No need to brush your teeth, Grandpa. I put them in the washer with my clothes."

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

The Final Chapter.

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Edward, you are already more than Christmassy enough."

"Let me know when it's the twenty-fourth."

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"Before there was the Internet, Grandpa didn't know that he was right about everything."

"What about the five that fell through?"

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

"Yale mom. Yale grandpa. Yale estranged creepy uncle."

"Let's scoot."

"I found grandpa's old cough!"