Grandmother’s Cooking Fan Pillows

Osteo-pierogies

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Ode to a Grill

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

American Pastry

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

Lorne Greene

"Previously on..."

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

The 3 Stooges Diner. Free Pie. Hah! I know better than to fall for that!

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"Can I have a pony?"

Nigella Lawson

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

'Willlllbur...is that you?' After low ratings, Mr Ed's contract ran out and he was canned.

"As the youngest kid in my family, I had a special job. Especially when astronauts landed on the moon."

'You just couldn't bring yourself to ask Marshall Dillon for directions, could you'

'Oh well - something rose up.'

The Lone Ranger in the jewelry store.

"Sooty says we're nostolgia"

Exit laughing

We're sunk. Everyone's supposed to bring their Grandma's best dish to the potluck. Don't panic. Helen's Grandma was from Scotland. Yeah. But the Patakis cook Indian feasts. And the Mercantis still make 10 course Italian dinners. What was your Granny's specialty? Jell-o cube salad. Mmm ... sweet or savory?

"I'm such a trend-setter! I wear a bib, and now mom does too!"

No longer a child, Maureen is excited to experience her first holiday dinner at the big table.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy! Not again!"