Grandma's Kitchen Fan Pillows

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Best before 65 million BC.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Adult Barbershop

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Christmas TV...

Night Life: L.A.

It's all gravy.

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

John Laurie

"Does it come with magnets?"

Tea and Sugar Rationing

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Wall Cluck.

Lorne Greene

'Dauber Micawber'

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"Previously on..."

Elvis' autopsy

Rep-Tiles.

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

The 3 Stooges Diner. Free Pie. Hah! I know better than to fall for that!

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'