Grandma's Recipe Enthusiast Pillows

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

'Fruitcake, pfefferneusse, we'd like you to consider early retirement.'

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

"Cheese fondue has gone wherever crepes Suzette and tuna Mornay went."

Endangered Entrees

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

"It's an old family recipe - some flour and water, yeast, a little salt, mono calcium phosphate, polysorbate 60, calcium propionate..."

Recipes from the Revised Senior Citizen Cookbook

We're sunk. Everyone's supposed to bring their Grandma's best dish to the potluck. Don't panic. Helen's Grandma was from Scotland. Yeah. But the Patakis cook Indian feasts. And the Mercantis still make 10 course Italian dinners. What was your Granny's specialty? Jell-o cube salad. Mmm ... sweet or savory?

'Ok. We've tried monkey's paw, eye of newt, bat's blood and raven's claw.'

Gone to lunch(just like his mother used to make!)

"How long have we been married?"

Grandma wearing novelty T-Shirt: 'How's my Hungging?'

'Sign this non-disclosure agreement ? I'm going to use a secret recipe.'

'You realize I have to tell grandma about this?'

Healthy Eating.

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

"Mmmmm, harissa dusted haricot vert. That sounds much more interesting than green beans with pepper powder."

Ghak Eisenthal invented the chicken fricassee.

Health care success #3

Jester cooks using book called 'Fool-proof Cooking'.

The Upchuck Wagon

'You mean we've all forgotten the formula for the secret liqueur?'

"It says the box contains all the ingredients needed for a delicious chicken dinner."

'You dope. You bought Hamburger Helper, but this is lamb.'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

Osteo-pierogies

'...and we add a couple of drops of our secret, habit-forming ingredient to each order.'