Graduation From Philosophy School Pillows

'Idealist'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Scientists are sexy

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Lost and Profound.

math faculty

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"I'm in a molting period. I'm shedding all of my French philosophers."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."