Graduation From Medical Training Gifts

"If I make it into medical school it'll be as a cadaver!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Let's consider an early dive."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Gross."

En garde!

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'