Graduation From Journalism School Gifts

'Sir, muckraking is preparing the paddy for rice.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

I love Lawyers

King George I

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Truth

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

MLK

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Law School teacher.

Planet of the Lawyers

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."