Grade Philosopher Pillows

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"One year closer to college!"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I'm here for the hair."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Life after death

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

Young Galileo