Government Intelligence T-Shirts

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

The Anti-Agent

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"National security adviser"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

CIA report

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

'More government surveillance!'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"That's hardly necessary!"

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

Charades

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Covid Lab Theory

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."