Government Efficiency Enthusiast Gifts

Federal Department of a Day Late and A Dollar Short.

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Late/Too Late.

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Failure/Due Diligence

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'It's come to my notice, Simpson, that YOU'RE the glitch in the system.'

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

'Risky, but I like it!'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"It's a 670 page questionnaire on how to cut back on unnecessary bureaucracy!"

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

Run, Mike, Run!

'Unfortunately, they're very good at what they do.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'