Gourmet Traveler Mugs

'Could you please bring Marco Polo a fork.'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

I wish I'd had the review.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'