Gourmet Reminiscer T-Shirts

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Cheese Pile

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

Thermidor Dali

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'How was the squid?'

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

Cut out and keep your own Chef