Gourmet Humorist T-Shirts

"I don't know what it is either...Let's call it 'Chef's Surprise'."

Holy Pizza

"Looks like you have a temperature."

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

One day Mike and a handful of other termites happened upon a turkey sandwich,,, after that it was pretty hard to go back to wood,

Man eating a bad oyster

'... and I'll have the child's plate hamburger, the child's plate chicken sandwich, the child's plate hot dog, the child's plate spaghetti.. the child's plate...'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

"That was the last of the O-negative."

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'We've really go to learn how to cook.'

'That's right, sir - they ate the salad.'

High Definition TV Dinners.

'This light beer reminds me a lot of San Francisco - it's close to water.'

Boy complaining to street vendor of delicacies

"How's your Blackforest gateau Sir?"

Cuisine on a stick

'Just my usual pie with four and twenty baked blackbirds...'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

The mushroom pickers

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Sale. This place only sells the base for soup, but it's usually spoiled. The "stock" market is causing lots of upset stomachs!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'The Burrito King.'