Gourmet Humor Fan T-Shirts

'Poodle again? But we just had that for lunch.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"I like my steak well done."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

The mushroom pickers

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

Road Kill Cafe.

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

"What will change my life?"

"Some volcano roll!"

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

The Cheese God

Holy Pizza

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."