Gourmet Gambler T-Shirts

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

'I'll see you two truffles... and raise you four nut-clusters!'

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Little league world series of poker.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

'Is this still America?'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Cooking'