Gourmet Galloper T-Shirts

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

The Origins of Everything

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"