Gothic Guardians Pillows

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Edgar Allen Poe

"He likes it."

Deaths from Coronavirus

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Giant Monster in Bath

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

The Bearskin Hat Family

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Edgar Allan Poe

Life is ghoul

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

Bleak House

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Forest Management