Gossip Columnist Gifts

"They stay together for the money."

Tittle and tattle.

"Your wife's sleeping with my cousin mike." Rat Poison

"Oh, pul-lease! You know her light isn't 'natural'!"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'She's so put together!'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Yak, yak, yak.'

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Men gossiping

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

JET (Part I)

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Water cooler talk stations."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Weditorials

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."