Goose Whisperer T-Shirts

'Okay - which of you wise guys just goosed me?'

'I'm telling you, that was Henderson and he was carrying a GOOSE!'

"I'm breaking in a new pillow."

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

Golf Goose

"It's the goose that lays the cholesterol-free eggs."

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Local Knowledge

Barks in code.

Bite out of fishing pier.