Goodreads Devotee Pillows

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

Television Readers.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Thomas Hardy

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

You're the olive in my martini

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

"Does this make me think I look good?"

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

'I forgot the question.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"...And please let the merger do through!"

A man sits behind a table in a book store with a sign that reads "Take the author to lunch 1 P.M."

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, is a nerd!"

Brian works in stem cell research

One book... One book... One book...

The-We-Don't-Do-Cappuccino Bookshop

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

That's not my husband's mating dance. That's his read-in-bed shuffle.

"Madonna's out early this morning."

"He's a typical kid. Spends all day on that thing doing his genetic sequencing."

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

I never finished our book. Me neither. I was reading another one. Me too. Totally addictive. Then let's choose that one for next month. Great. Facebook works for me! It's bookmarked!

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"