Golf Lover Gifts

Very busy at Indian call centre. Laid-back in UK office. Man asks: 'Could we outsource tea-making?'

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

'If it doesn't let up a little by the time we get on the back nine, let's call it a day.'

'It's a good thing that you've got rubber-soled shoes on. That could have gone all the way through you.'

'...and twenty-two mulligans.'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

Centaurs

"It's the old story. East Hampton isn't big enough for both of them."

Golf Ball Meatball

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"Well done!"

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'I know it's awkward, Peterson, but legally our club cannot bar him from membership. ... Maybe it's time for you to let go of the past.'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Giraffe putting.

"By all means, play through."

The mailing lists you're on says who you are

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

Impeach!

"I say another mile and we forget it. It was only a ball from the practice range anyway."

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

"I've seen iceberg proposals for garages, swimming pools and cinemas...but a nine hole golf course?"

"I'm noticing more water hazards this year."

Penguins playing golf on a whale.

Golfer about to hit an agg

When Michael Vick Golfs,

Golfing in the snow.

'Your guy looks a little nervous.' 'Yeah,i know. It's the first time he's ever played in front of such a huge gallery.'

'Fore.'

Rodin's Golfer, Rodin's Divot

'Don't you think you're carrying this 'oversized' thing a bit too far?'

Snake on golf course

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Have you found any golf balls in there.'

'I hate all that hip hop music.' 'Yes, I'd rather play golf or watch cricket.' 'Oh no...great white sharks.'