Golf Guru Willpower Pillows

'When I advised you to shift your weight, I didn't mean ALL of it!'

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

It can be taken up at any age....

Golf lessons

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

Largest Divot Trophy.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

"You have a good lie."

How's my driving?

'I like to stay connected 247.'

Golf

'Do you know any other poses?'

They were right, this is a tough bunker.

Nevermore!

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"