Goldfish Gourmets T-Shirts

"Someday, son, all this will be yours."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"This place could use a moat!"

"He never takes me anywhere."

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

French bread

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Where's your goldfish?'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."