Gold Buff Pillows

Royal Mint Update - we have found missing gold and seem to have twice as much as before!

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

That's What Happens

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Hysterically laughing monster.

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

Planner at work.

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'I never forget a face.'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

'I can't remember the last time I treated a case of amnesia, and I can't even remember if I ever did treat one.'

Park. Don't fear the animals, try to analyze their motives. Don't be "afraid," be "a Freud"!

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

Hairy Potter and friend..

"Lovely weather for it."

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

"Have they decided not to have M-day."

"I don't really have a favourite. I love you both equally."

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'

'Don't tell the Fuhrer I filled the war head with jellybabies, you know upset he gets.'

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."