Going To Ascot Gifts

A day at the races

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Safari.

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"And that's why you go on safari."

Fairytale prince and princess

'Don't move, there's a bee on your back.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Finger puppets in church.

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'Okay wait. Screaming and failing is for large cats...'

"It's the battering classes"

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Beware of the Dragon

"And to think he started in accounting."

"Friend or foe?"

"Ah, Master Turnip, I see you're on a defence contract too!"

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."