Going Through A Tough Time Pillows

'First I lose my job... then my wife leaves me... and now my house burns down! What else could possibly go wrong!?'

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Large Emoticon Collider

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Meditation

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

When life gives you lemons...

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

Boxing with yourself

Marriage Guidance: 'Next!'

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

'Listen... that sound... we're scraping the bottom of the barrel.'

'Invisible elephants take longer to acknowledge that live rhinos.'

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

Betty's Ex, Ray, Glasses.

'Please continue.'

Sympathetic Friends

"It's the right drink in the right place at the right time."

"I spy with my little eye something heading toward divorce."

'I often come here to unwind.'

'You're cute, Darrel, but you come with a lot of baggage.'

"But that's the problem - I can remember EVERYTHING!!"

"Oh, I'm just riding out the cycle."

"I'm ignoring him because I took his ex's side in the breakup."

Dark cloud.

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."