Going On A Date Gifts

"You don't look like your picture."

Before picking up a date, Doug always tested his breath on a canary that he kept in the car.

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

'I like a man who speaks his mind.'

'These awkward pauses are sooo embarrassing.'

'Is that you talking or Wikipedia?'

It was official. She was desperate.

'It's just that when I said 'bring a date'...'

'Meeting someone tonight?'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'I can see now Harold, that you're a man after my own heart.'

"What do you have that'll act like a virus on a computer date?"

"I'm Tia Carmen...but I guess I'm not your tia, so you can just call me Carmen."

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Anna-Lena decided immediately that she would never date a cat person again.

"Sure, he's statuesque, but he gets a big-fat-zero when it comes to making conversation."

Lion Toupee

"I'm almost a vegetarian. I only ever eat herbivores."

'I'm sure you'll have a wonderful evening, I've heard some awful things about him.'

"What bothers me most is the implication that 'real boys' have some keen sense of objective truth."

Ariel prepares for her big date.

Feline Eye for the Canine Guy (dogs and cats)

'Why did you ask him if all the boats are fitted with stabilisers?'

'Anyway enough of me talking about myself, why don't you talk about me for a while instead.'

'Mind if I borrowed my medical history chart? I've got a blind date tonight.'

'It's Sir Galahad - Take your umbrella and walking boots, the white charger's gone in for a de-coke.'

"Some men are like icebergs....75 percent of the volume is hidden under the water!"

"Clyde here has volunteered to try the hair growth formula in time for his date tonight."

'He says you'll like his friend - his nickname is 'Bogey' & I think it's because he looks like the Hollywood 50's star,Humphrey Bogart'

'Theatre? No, No, it's the football stadium.'

'Sorry, I'm in a hurry. I've got a blind date.'

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"I look at a man's hands. If he has long fingers it usually means he has long toes."