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"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

A vampire in a canoe.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'