Goal Hero Gifts

"Stand still, for God's sake, we're trying to give you a kiss."

Football

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

I love Basketball.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Zdeno Chara

Professional football.

"I don't care if your mother is watching on telly, just get the ball in the net!"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

Goalie Wall.

Athletic Darwinism.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

You look like a team player. I like that!

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

"Slug bug...not hit backs!"

Covid Defender

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

A man working on a model airplane

Two boys having a water fight.

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

I love hockey!

Man using guitar as golf club.

Mat Trick

Canadian Jesus

'I can't dunk.'