Goal Aficionado Pillows

The Alter of Football

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Golfing Boss

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Camping-Pong

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Why moms make bad refs.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Antler Buzzers.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."