Gluten-free Gourmet Pillows

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Gluten-free Santa

"Are you sure this is gluten free?"

The Sprats

"One slice—hold the bread."

"She thinks she's so great cause she has real celiac disease."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"Another nice thing about a martini - it's gluten free."

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"I'm so sorry! I'm gluten intolerant. I just panicked."

'Being GLUTEN FREE is your entire resume?'

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

Kitchen Kapers

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'