Gluten-free Gourmand Pillows

"Not unless they're gluten-free bread crumbs."

"Yep - peanut-free, Ebola-free, gluten-free. That'll be $74."

"And now it's gluten free!"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Kitchen Kapers

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"It's fondue night!"

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Gluten-free Santa

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"It's the gluten-free edition."