Globetrotter With A Knack For Packing Light Gifts

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

My God, I need to fart.

The Family Joules: Part 5

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"On the contrary. I think the Carribbean countries have a great many education practices that are worth studying."

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Join the Army! And see the world! Satellite reconnaissance photo analysis division.

Business traveller dreaming of home.

Australasia.

A woman knits from a globe.

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

The Family Joules: Part 8

'We don't have a GPS or any maps, so this is the best I could do.'

"Please remember to check for any personal problems you may have left behind."

"We have two offices throughout the world."

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

"The government wants an international economy... Bosses on N.Y. salaries and everyone else on Mumbai wages."

In the wake of tourism...

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

Soccer Mania

Thousands of customers stranded when major travel firm goes out of business.

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

"My job traveled abroad, so I can't."

London on £50 a meal

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'