Globalism Skeptics Pillows

'The Final Merger'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

'But what if my job doesn't want to go to China?'

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

EuroPygmees

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

We're going to have to let you go. Your job's been outsourced to a teenager with a laptop in India.

Carbon capture and storage

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

"Today the secret ingredients for Mom's Apple Pie were sold to the Japanese for sixty-eight million dollars."

Arctic Wildfires.

"He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown."

"Buy local? Isn't it enough I buy stuff assembled in this country from foreign parts?"

'As soon as we get some means, we should start livin' below 'em.'

Carbon Credits

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

"Despite the promises of our capitalist progenitors, I'm not finding deep joy in my work. I'd prefer to just hang with my buds."