Global Time Travelers Gifts

It's 7 AM Somewhere

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Sundial Time

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."