Global Time Traveler Pillows

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Second hand furniture.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Sundial Time

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Time for vacation, time for work.

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I don't know who you are!"

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'