Glitter Ball Gazer Gifts

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Emergency exit into Space

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

The Milky Way (Detail)

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"It will be all your fault."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

'Forget it, this planet only has one star.'

Ill next Thursday

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"