Glamour Gurus Pillows

"I didn't realize being a glam-pa would be so painful."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Ladies

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"You're solemates!"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Words of Love

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.