Glamour Gurus Pillows

"I didn't realize being a glam-pa would be so painful."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"You're solemates!"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Ladies

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

Movember

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

The Cat Spa

Words of Love

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."