Girl Scout Cookie Season Gifts

'Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies, or are you a male chauvinist pig?'

'Everyone avoids Griswold during girl scout cookie season. He has four daughters.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Works every time.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'The roof needs icing.'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

Santa School.

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

When seasons collide

"How can Santa eat all those cookies and drink all that milk in one night? Well, like everything else when it comes to Santa, it's magic. . ."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

'I lost weight just by cutting back on all the milk and cookies!'

Intoducing Wonderman: the superhero for your everyday needs.

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

"We have some little cookie cutter houses you might like."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

Gingerbread Men's Hair Salon

"How can I be expected to reach my 'full potential' when I can't even reach the cookie jar?"

"And his tell-all memoir reveals how he broke into every home and consumed over twelve thousand pounds of cookies in one evening."

Fortune Cookies

'We really don't mind as long as it's got no fingers and no toes'

'I'm afraid I can't find anything that matches your current salary of sixty million cookies, and twenty thousand gallons of milk.'

'You may not believe it, but it's made from a mix.'

"Right now we're very bullish on Girl Scout cookies."

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

(Cursing symbols), You're right! There should be a LOT more of us!