Girl Guide Leader Gifts

"Good afternoon Sir. I'm here to show you a terrific knife set while you purchase some girl guide cookies and listen to this guy talk about his religion"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"All the celebrities come here."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

"Booby Traps!"

"I want to be a Jockey."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nurse or a secretary?"

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nursie or mummy?" "Actually I'm torn between a career in hedge fund derivatives or setting up my own management consultancy."

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

Kid reader to librarian about 'Parenting' book: 'This didn't tell me anything about how to deal with parents.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

"So, Gracie, if you were a superhero, what powers would you have?"

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

Athena

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies, or are you a male chauvinist pig?'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

Self Harm Support.

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'