Girl Band Groupie Gifts

Victoria Beckham

Plant Lady

Theatre Crowd

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Robert Schumann

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Nick Cave.

ABBA

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

"You're dragging the beat."

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

Cinema nasties

Athena

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

"I have two children by a previous tour."

"I'd like a table near the band please."

Eric Clapton

Team Bass

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

"I'm dating a professional goalkeeper..."

"Actually I'm a 'Roadie' for Dalton, Edwards, Bell, Cosgrove and Stoddard."

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

"Glad you could join us, Donna. Please take a seat."

'They think it's Andover - it is Slough!'

Mob Misfortune Cookies 'There's a gun pointed at your right now' 'You will take one for the team soon.' 'Leave the gun, take the eggroll.'