Ginger Jesters T-Shirts

'Sorry, pal - I don't really go for ginger blokes.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'It must be a milkfish.'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'I'd like to teach the world to sting.'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

Coast to coast walk.

Banana Arcade Game

Turkey Hostage.

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

Gloria, what's a good remedy for garlicky hands? Rigatoni gloves.

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

"Hi germ, pick on someone your own size."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

"Your 'Low On Ink' light is lit."

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'