Gigantic Food Fan T-Shirts

Bulk School Mince.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Before/After

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Regular service or affected?"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Is the garbage fresh?"

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Sisyphus Pizza

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I usually take my new clients to nicer places. But my expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'My Lee's creative with food. He always customizes his toppings when we phone for pizza.'