Gifty Sipper Gifts

Good Cholesterol.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

We'll have Manhattans...

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I forget to drink."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Anton's Bar and Grill

A very fine vintage

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Wine not?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Can I get you another coffee?

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

Scariest Tactics

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

New for Fall

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."