Gifty Guru Pillows

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

'I could do that.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

The Rise of Modern Art

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Computer help.

Psychiatry in the Park

Creative accounting.

100k Desert Crawl

Tech support...can I help you!

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"Are you sure that a 'tamiflu injection' will cure my computer virus?"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

Good Cholesterol.

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'What do you expect from a child being raised in a paperless society?'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

'But, Mom -- you're always telling everyone to do the math.'