Gift Return Specialist Gifts

'...And the reason you're returning it?'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

CEO.

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

The Re-Giving Tree

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Santa reads book: The Joy of Sacks.

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'It's my stool sample.'

'What do you give to a man who has everything?' 'Antibiotics!'

"What do you get for the man who complains about everything?"

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

Mt. Everest gifts.

December 24th and the December 26th.

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'... and last, but not least, a big Christmas bonus for Daddy to make sure I get what I want.'

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

"Next time, before buying expensive gifts, be sure there's enough money left to rent your own camels."

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

"Look what I bought at Ofelia's yard sale."

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

December 26th . . . The Returns