Gift Of Gallop Pillows

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Santa called but you were out!

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Regifts of the Magi

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'Who's ready for laughter-- the best medicine?!!!'

Valentines Day truck

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

The Depressing Economic Crisis

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'Special Delivery!'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"I bought my wife a diamond planet"

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'