Gift Juggler Pillows

"Each one wanted me to wear his Father's Day present first."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Travelling

'The girls must be feeling better...'

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

Too Much Plastic.

"Find out who's on vacation and then add this stuff to the workload on his desk."

'Almost done.'

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

'It looks like you need to eat a more balanced diet!'

Funky Chef 1

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

Why men hate shopping.

Working From Home/Working From Home But It's the Holidays

Moving and Storage: "Did they say moving?"

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'We didn't expect you this early!'

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

Closing a Suitcase

"I've got to figure out how to get paid for work dreams."

Chiropractor

'For the last time, I cannot make it to your family's Christmas gathering tonight.'

"I had twins, so I had to add a pouch."

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

'Use a basket? That's too much trouble.'

'I'm sorry but looking at the staff rota there's no way I can release you over Christmas!'