Gift-giving Storyteller T-Shirts

"'It's the thought that counts' means think about the guy who has to carry the refrigerator down the chimney!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

Filming Christmas

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Kirsten Johnson

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Daughters at Bedtime

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

Tipping Pain Chart

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

Reading

Baby Bear.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Mephistopheles

Gag - a graphic novel

Young Stephen King

A feminist Christmas.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Purple Fairy

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Knight before Christmas

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'